It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon.  I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if  you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have come shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.  I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

If we are strong enough to be weak enough, we are given a wound that never heals.  It is the gift that keeps the heart open…

Knowing how to do this (getting my heart broken over and over again), finding the courage to take another breath and not close my heart to myself or the world where there is pain, is what I seek to learn – how to love well…

We are a very creative species – we can use just about anything to anesthetize ourselves.  But in doing so, we also remove ourselves from feeling the joy.  Life becomes less, and if we are even slightly numb, it is hard for us to find the wisdom we need in our lives and in our world…

I cannot save myself, nor those I love, from the sorrow that is part of life.  Knowing this, it is tempting to protect myself from pain by simply closing a little to life, especially in the areas where I have been hurt, in the ares that matter most…

And the moment it (knowledge) is revealed, we become aware of a need from something else: for the wisdom to live with what we do not know, what we cannot control, what is painful — and still choose life…

“Do you choose to rise above your sorrow?”

When we learn to be with our pain, we retrieve the parts of ourselves we have attempted to leave behind, and we are able once again to love those parts of ourselves.  We find our wholeness and leave behind the impossible ideal of perfection that keeps us from the wisdom we need to live fully and compassionately with our humanness and the world…

 Chapter 4 | The Sorrow

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.  I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool, for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. 

All my usual cautions about how fast and how far to open my heart and my life to any man evaporated in the heart of desire that reached for him, both hands open, whispering, “Live.”  I held nothing back.  I risked it all.  I let myself love and be loved, deeply…

I had shown the depth of my hunger.  I was revealed to the world as a woman of deep, untidy passions that could override my usual ability to be an astute judge of character and to make carefully thought-out decisions.  I was the fool.  And I would do it all again.  I would not trade one moment of the loving for the assurance of a predictable outcome or protection of my pride.  For I learned to discern between heat and the warmth of the real intimacy between power and passion, between intensity and love.  I discovered the wholeness of  my longing for a mate – the need for a friend, brother, and partner where I had sought only a lover…

But the longing is larger than the fear, the desire more fierce than the pain.  My second husband is a good man; we did not have a bad life.  It was simply not my life.  I had to leave the life I had built and go forward to meet the life for which I longed…

And sometimes, although we may ourselves hold these values , their dominance in our lives in a particular form does not allow us to live our other aspects of what we love and who we are…

“What do you fear?”

The truth is that some days I feel I am ready for freedom and other days I am so tired I don’t want the responsibility it brings into my life…

Sometimes, when I see others follow their desires, I am surprised to find myself not only unsupportive but angry, threatened.  If I have convinced myself that lack of money and the needs of those dependent upon me are the reasons why I cannot risk doing work that is more consistent with my soul’s desires, the woman or man who makes such a change and finds ways to meet obligations similar to mine, without the financial resources beyond mine, challenges my certainty that I have no choice.  Ironically, I find myself, at moments, clinging to a belief in my own powerlessness, a belief that will let me off the hook of responding to my soul’s desire.  Those who chose a different response threaten the seamlessness of my self-deception…

Chapter 3 | The Fear from the The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.  I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

I HAVE FAITH IN LONGING, wherever it finds me…

It is the voice of the parts of myself I have left behind in the deals I have tried to make with life, trying to trade pieces of my dreams for promises of safety…

It is not the being, no even the doing that exhausts.  It is the trying: trying to be present, to be awake, to hold the whole world, to be better, more self-aware, more conscious.  My hopes for us are real: I want to help create a world where the very idea of toxic waste would raise such a cry of anguish from the people as to make it unthinkable: where we would move, pulled by the heart, to care for the poor, the ill, the dying and despairing without debating where they are deserving, without fear of contamination, seeing ourselves in each person…

I want to quit running from my own tiredness.  I want to be willing and able to move only as fast as I am capable of moving while still remaining connected of the impulse to move from deep withing, stopping when I have lost that slender thread of desire and having the courage and faith to wait, in stillness, until I find it again…

“What are you longing for?”

This is what I ache for: intimacy with myself, others, and the world, intimacy that touches the sacred in all that is life.  This ache, this longing is the thread that guides me back through the labyrinth of compromises I have made, back to my soul’s desires.  And sometimes I am afraid of my desires – afraid of that they will ask of me, what vision of myself or the world they will offer that may demand a sacrifice of my carefully cultivated way of seeing.  If we are never consumed by the transforming fire of our desires, we risk falling in love with the sweet ache of longing, the daydream of “what if…” or “some day…”

Chapter 2 | The Longing from The Invitation

I want to live with deep intimacy every day of my life…

• The first warning, then, is also the first promise: if this book succeeds in actually taking you into the territory of “The Invitation,” you will experience, not just read about, the ache, the sorry, the joy, the courage, the peace…
• This, then, leads to the second warning and promise: the consequences of moments of deep intimacy with yourself, another, of the world are completely unpredictable.
• The third warning holds yet another promise: no part of the journey is wasted.

“Are  you ready to accept the invitation?”

I can tell you that it is possible to feel pain without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it, to dance with joy and feel the ecstasy completely, to live with the failure, to see beauty, to stand in the center of the fire… 

that the courage to go deeper is found by letting you desire grow larger than you fear; that strength is found in your longing to live fully, your willingness to settle for nothing less… 

I am compelled by some deep hunger of the soul, driven by a desire that will not leave me alone, to live life to the fullest…

It means tasting each mouthful, feeling each breath, listening to each song, being awake and aware of each moment as it unfolds…

Life lived intimately may not be easier.  But it is fuller, richer, and more open to everything: the confusion and the insight, the excitement and the boredom, the shadow and the light…

Did I love well?  There are a thousand ways to love other people and the world-with out touch, our words, our silences, our work, our presence.  I want to love well.  This is my hunger.  I want to make love to the world by the way I live in it, by the way I am with myself and others every day.  So I seek to increase my ability to be with the truth in each moment, to be with what I know, the sweet and the bitter.  I want to stay aware of the vastness of what I do not know.  This what brings me to the journey.  I do not want to live any other way….

Chapter 1 | Accepting the Invitation from “The Invitation” by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hit or fade it of fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and buried to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

“The Invitation” by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

via Small Aircraft Crashes into Office Building.

Dress Shop Austin – On Congress Avenue Presents:
What to Wear this Weekend!

Dress Shop is in bloom! We’ve got an absolutely gorgeous crop of florals showing up everywhere from dresses to cardigans to clutches. With these pieces, you can make any occasion a garden party!

This gorgeous cardigan from Charlotte Tarantola is a perfect addition to a solid dress, like this draped jersey one from Suzi Chin in bright royal blue. Every shade of rose and lavender can be seen here, with just a splash of neon green, so it’s an instant wardrobe updater. Trend alert: skinny belts are going to be everywhere this season, so we’ve added a red leather one with tiny gold studs to break up the print here. Don’t let your handbag get left out of the fun- grab a brightly colored silk clutch on your way out the door (and don’t forget your red lipstick!).

The misty floral pattern on this gauzy halter dress from Parameter (right) makes this the perfect piece to throw on for a last-minute event, day or night. We love it with a fatigue jacket and boots for daytime or simple heels and sparkly earrings for night.

For an even subtler floral with just as strong a statement, look no further than this rosy pink Yoana Baraschi knit dress (left). The flower applique adds just the right amount of fancy, while the figure-skimming cut will show off your curves. Don’t you just love being a girl?
Dress Shop Austin – On Congress Avenue

This confection of a dress from McGinn features tier upon tier of delicately pleated cotton. The floral pattern here is made up of sunny yellow with muted lavenders and blues. Perfect for a daytime wedding, this dress is complemented by a pink patent skinny belt, adding just the right pop of bold color. We’ve also added a flower pendant, made up of multi-colored crystal petals. This lady-like look will have the girls asking where you shop and have the guys on their very best behavior, so only wear it if you’re prepared to be the center of attention!

Special Dress Shop Austin - On Congress Avenue – Sale Note:
We’re having a birthday party!

Leslie turns 30 next weekend and we’re celebrating with you, our lovely and loyal friends on Thursday, February 25th starting at 5pm with champagne and shopping (of course!). And as a party favor, we’ll give you an additional 30% off of any one sale item when you present this email! Use the “send to a friend” link up top to invite your girlfriends and when they sign up for our weekly email we’ll give them the same discount!

Offer applies to lowest-priced item eligible for discount and can not be used toward the purchase of gift cards. Sales are effective only on the date(s) posted and are not retro-active. Limit one per customer.

www.DressShopAustin.com | 512-527-3018 | Leslie@DressShopAustin
315 Congress Avenue Suite 100 Austin, Texas 78701

The Kindle Project: Paying it Forward for Single Moms

KINDLE – v. to ignite; to excite; to stir up

For at least the past 5 years of my life, I have been consumed with this incredibly deep conviction that my “calling” in life is to motivate, empower, and shorten the learning curve for single mothers/fathers. When it really comes down to it, it is the only thing I’m authentically passionate about besides my 2 BFF’s, Cullen (age 13) and Cassidy (age 11). I’m known for my cheery personality and upbeat aura, and I guess you can never really take the cheerleader out of the girl. Right?

So, what will The Kindle Project do?

It’s a question that has been plaguing me for quite some time. What can I give of quantitative value to single mothers? How can I pay it forward? How can I give them a leg up? My background is accounting and marketing. I own a couple of businesses, both real estate related. Wait a second… Let me back up. One of my sweet friends gave me a fake dollar bill card that reads, “Action is the active ingredient that transforms my goals into reality.” It’s been on my dashboard for the past 2.5 months now. My friend told me that the only thing that really resonated with me was loving on single moms and acknowledging the people and groups that played a significant role in my success a strong and independent single mother.  Drum roll… I have no idea what this will lead to or where it will take me, but my first “pay it forward” activity will be a FREE real estate listing (instead of total of 6%, only 3% to buyer’s agent) given away on a monthly basis here in Austin, TX. In addition, my company www.myopentoclose.com will donate one short sale negotiation and/or loan modification to any single mom or dad with majority custody of their children in the United States!   It’s something that I can do immediately and proficiently. And I have to tell you I want this to be just the beginning!

 Who is Giving

Amber Gunn – Real estate broker – free real estate listing (3% commission paid to listing broker waived)

Open to Close – Short sale negotiations ($1000 value)

Scott Carson – Real Estate Coaching/Training ($2500 value)

Marlow McShan – 16 week (4 times per week) fitness training package (over $1000 value)

Ashlie Von Stroh – Massage Therapist donation (over $100 value)

Eric Zhao – Financial Advisor (priceless)

Chris Brashear – Dolce Salon – hair cut and color services (over $100 value)

Joshua Escalante – Reflexologist (over $65 value)

Cullen Cadena – landscaping services (over $50 value)

Cassidy Cadena – pet sitting/babysitting services (priceless)

Joel Boehm – Attorney/legal services (priceless)

512.922.4866  I  amber@austindomainproperties.com

Austin Domain Properties  I  www.austindomainproperties.com  I  Austin, TX 78750

http://hubpages.com/hub/The-Kindle-Project-Paying-it-Forward-for-Single-Moms

Splits: $250 annual fee – Sales (90/10) and Leases (80/20)

Services Included:

• RELAY transaction mgmt membership ($99/yr) www.rebt.com
• Text message marketing service and signage ($360/yr) www.textmymls.com
• 800 phone number on signs for lead rotation ($250/yr) www.gosolo.com
• 800 efax number ($120/yr) www.fax.com
• Weekly Coaching & Mastermind meetings ($8,400/yr) www.maxavenue.com
• Unlimited support from your broker (PRICELESS)
• Dedicated Page on the Austin Domain Properties website www.austindomainproperties.com
• E&O Insurance (Business Risk Partners underwriting Lloyd’s – $720/yr)
• For Sale Signs ($1,000 value)

Optional Services:

• Discounted automated feedback for your listings ($10/mo, $25/mo value) www.proagentsolutions.com
• Discounted CRM tool that synchs with Outlook ($15/mo, $40/mo value) www.proagentsolutions.com
• Personal Assistant through Open to Close to enable you to leverage your time and do more business (list to close, contract to close, short sale negotiation) www.myopentoclose.com

Preferred Vendors:

• Business Cards- www.123print.com
• Handyman- Gabriel Garcia 965-9090
• Signage-jonas@dirtcheapsigns.com
• Home Warranty-HWA (bwelhausen@hwahomewarranty.com)
• Inspector-Steve Jordan 484-8998
• Independence Title-Kelli Burns (kburns@independencetitle.com)
• Loan Officer-Nicole Lahti (Nicole@nicolelahti.com)
• Appraisal-Jason Garcia (Jason@digitalappraisalservices.com)